How to woo a lady

- an idiot’s guide to understanding women

Having a girl friend is, in a lot of ways, like bungee jumping. Everyone thinks its super cool, but when you are at it all you want is to get out alive. That said, it is rather highly unfortunate that as the cultural catalysts for over half a century now, Bollywood has given our masses a difficult benchmark to follow. Single, aggressive and angry Amithabs have silently been replaced with talkative, flirting and charming Shah Rukhs. And overnight the aloof silent singledom has become a symbol of pity.

But fear not readers, for in just a few lines that follow you will have the key to understanding a woman’s head, realize her wants and understand her thoughts. And that exact moment you would wish you never payed for this internet connection that has, with this post, pushed you into a lifelong contemplation bordering suicide, penance and lunacy.

But since you have come so far, let me give you a talisman on how relationships work. If you have ever wondered why the woman of your dreams looks instead at that rugged looking no-good rowdy down the street, you are already on the right track.

Women are pre-programmed with an intrinsic want to do good. Over that is an impregnable layer of an infallible ethical system. Crafted across this are the two most vital components of the woman’s brain- the screamer and the road-decomprehender. With so many interrelated components, each with its share of complexity, it is no wonder that the system as a whole comes up with just a couple of minor glitches. Therefore the woman ideally assumes it her divine task to turn the world around. She would complain about the use of plastics as she bites off that chocolate, use the more expensive and labor intensive recycled paper, scream at errant drivers on roads, set a model to prevent sunburn by dressing up Taliban style, and save all her used tissues and wrappers so as to help make a greener planet. Useless facts such as nuclear treaties, war, global warming or that recycled paper uses more in chemicals and raw materials than new paper hardly ever matter to her.

Now it is this inherent need to cleanse the society of evils that draws her to villains and axe murderers. A woman thinks it is her responsibility to purify her ‘victim’ by love. A delirious state governed by states of change and credit cards.

It is at this part of the relationship that the boyfriend quits smoking, drinking, flirting, eating, riding and breathing, while the girl on her part quits calling and going out with him. A woman needs a challenge. She needs something to change. Once the guy becomes perfect, her challenge is over. Some women may look for more things to change- the dressing styles or eating habits. And the ideal woman can constantly complain and feed her survival. The few that do not strictly fall into this median category move to greater villains to satiate their smarten attire. Of course, an intelligent woman may accept the lack of change as the greater truth in life and live with contentment, showering happiness across all she sees. But since every reader here knows that an intelligent woman is a biological anomaly, I suggest you shoot her thrice on the head if you ever encounter one.

p.s: what will girls do when every guy turns out to be like "vanathapola" captain… who will she love??? what will be there for her to cleanse???...yosichindae irunga :|

Dissociatve Identity Syndrome

(popularly Multiple Personality Disorder)


Anniyan was the least of this i tell you!

This write comes in the wake of my new found knowledge that there exist certain ke-ku* who assume rummaging this blog is the key to discovering the dark half- my less known private life.
I feel insulted. I really feel insulted!
Now did you think i would be so dumb as to put up private information on even a darn peice of paper... let alone the internet??? So i tell him- ke-ku dear, this is not the way it works.
And he shows uneasiness at the fact. So i try to make him understand that it would take a half wit idiot as himself to go on proclaiming information on the free for all web if he did not want it public. Quite obviously for a spectacular genius like him, who could evade evolution, this was not comprehendable. And every few seconds he would give a triumphant smile at the accomplishment of 'discovering' my space here!
My blog is not me. Infact most often I AM NOT ME. What then, have i written all along in a mask of lies?
Maybe.....

Let me put it easier for my friends of blogs and shitheads of planet ke-ku

I guess most of us have atleast heard of a disease, not uncommon amongst our kind. Its called Multiple Personality Disorder. In fact all of me suffer from it.
And since the millions of ME cannot peacefully co exist in my limited frame, three have emerged truly powerful- Arvind,Rikki & Jakie
Pretty simple- ideally I would be Arvind. The figment of myself better known amongst my lesser world. Removing all emotion and backing it with attitude and ego required a dump- and so Arvind was born. Now if you knew Arvind, you could at least beam at lesser passed knowledge. But there again if you assumed I did have some life altering secret, and you just had to look for it in the daily papers, i suggest you look under a moving truck and not stop until you hear a squelching sound and your eyesight fades to darkeness!

And here comes Rikki. It doesnt take a harvard cryptologist to see that this is just my "so cald second life". Obvious from the name, Rikki is the anti- matter of jakie. Defnly not the place to go about searching for arvind here!



(1) I may not be Einstien, but i am sure enough not an idiot to go about giving you anything I dont mean you to see.
(2) Orkut, Blogosphere, my write ups and my speeches are meant for public and I KNOW IT!
(3) I currently do not hold ANY life altering secrets. So the next time you start with "I heard something about you..." im gonna make sure you dont hear anything at all- EVER
(4) Either Get a life... or better still - eat your toenails and DIE


ps: Ke-Ku is an ancient Chinese accolade for ingenious thinkers. Not to be confused with tamil kena kooooo
DEV-D

Just finished watching this movie...2 1/2 hours of my life wasted and not to mention the money wasted behind the meds required to treat my headache...

No idea what the director or writer or producer were thinking when they decided to proceed with this project..we sure do have some people back home who have a lot of money to waste...
V-Day...

I know it’s a late for this posting but nevertheless it’s pretty damn interesting and weird...

Courtesy Rediff…

“Some Bajrang Dal activists even forced few couples to apply sindoor or tie rakhis at some places.

Justifying their actions, Bajrang Dal's media in charge Vinod Bansal said, "In many cases, the guys were just indulging in immoral acts, in the name of Valentine's Day. We wanted them to at least express their sincerity and give their commitment. While many refused, some agreed to the sindoor ritual”

Are you seriously bloody kidding me??? These guys don’t want to accept westernization but when/if they are in power and if westerners come to them with loads of revenue to start a business venture or something, then tho they will be the first to kiss their feet...Damn, is it just me or these guys are really hypocrites??? Who the hell are they to dictate to someone to apply sindoor or tie a rakhi???

“Speaking on the occasion, Jai Bhagwan Goel, chief of the party's north India unit, said there are umpteen number of Indian festivals like Holi, Diwali, Id and Raksha Bandhan to express feelings of love, unity and brotherhood”

Yeah like on rakhi or holi or diwali, the chumma chaati was going to be fine with them…Don’t get me wrong, I am in no way American or anything but cmon this is definitely a little too extreme…Youngsters (in India that is) can probably be a lil restrictive on PDA’s (Public Display of Affection), or go to places where there would mostly be youngsters, mainly because the older generation is not use to this and hence may take offense to it but still, the rakhi n sindoor is just unnecessary…If people want to express their love publicly on v-day then so be it…if they want to go out and have a good time then so be it too…who the hell are these activists to decide who can and cannot do something?? So much for letting the country remain democratic…

Love/sex...The American and the Indian way

This actually struck me when I was watching ‘Wedding Crashers’…of all movies, I know…This might get a little confusing..so bear with me…

We always compare the Indian culture to the American culture and always think that the Indian culture is the best and that the American culture does not compare even close to it…We believe that sex before marriage is taboo whereas in the American way of life, it is just normal; something that is going to happen no matter what..An Indian guy most of the time wants a virgin and if she isn’t, then oh damn, all hell breaks loose…I have seen relationships break over this and just fail to understand that what the fk are they even thinking…it is ok for guys to sleep with how many ever they want to but it isn’t for a girl because she has to have her hymen intact when she is married to whoever she marries..of course there are exceptions to what I am saying..but isn’t this hypocrisy? How is it fine for a guy to be able to sleep with anyone before marriage but not really fine for a girl? This may definitely seem strange and weird coming from a guy but it’s the truth isn’t it?...and no, I am NOT gay…

So in that case, American guys are more acceptive of the fact that their gf’s and wives are not virgins and they just don’t care because they know that that’s how things are…They eventually fall in love with the person and give a damn about his/her past sexual experience because of the acceptance that it was going to happen anyways…However, in the Indian way of life why does it sometimes be so hard to accept that he or she would have had a sexual past and that is just part of being in a relationship..

Therefore, isn’t true love about accepting him/her for who she is and whatever be the case? Then in that instance, doesn’t the American culture seem to be better than the Indian culture because of the easier acceptance factor? Can’t we say that American guys are probably truer partner/companions/lovers than Indian guys because they can accept the female and her past as is because it is part of her?

Things are definitely changing now where both, Indian guys and girls are becoming more acceptive of their partner's past but one cannot deny the fact that still most of the Indian guys are not really that acceptive.

I DO NOT INTEND TO STIR UP ANY CONTROVERSIES BASED ON WHAT I WRITE. THIS IS IN NO WAY DEGRADING ANY INDIAN BECAUSE THERE ARE ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS TO EVERYTHING. I AM JUST LOOKING AT THINGS IN A CERTAIN WAY.

Chat Status

If it says your "idle" in your status message, doesnt that prolly mean in the real world (understand as opposed to Virtual World) that you are doing something?

Considering the time people waste beacuse of their computers today, i propose a slightly different status message protocol.

When ur off the computer, instead of "idle" it should say something like
option 1 - "Probably doing something useful"
option 2 - "having a life!"

When you log back on
option 1- "has nothing else to do"
option 2 - "twt mode" (time wasting tactics)
option 3- "looking for distraction form other bored people online"
option 4- "nothing good on tv"

when ur online for a really long time
option 1 - "idle"

Choose or Loose?

Making choices is the most intricate part of life. You’re halfhearted, perplexed with thoughts like “Would it be nice to go back and change things if it goes wrong?”

I sat down took a deep breathe and gave myself 5 minutes to ponder on this question and I realized that, me being dubious about reality, I think a linear time frame is the key part of what its a part to be a human

Imagine if your really important choices are sampled like a box of chocolates then our decisions would loose its meaning

What would be at stake?

Revised...

Okay after reading over what I posted last night, I've got to say I wrote down a lot of things and managed not to say what I wanted to say...Which can be summed up simply as, if you look for love, you'll never find it and when you stumble on it, cherish it whether its lasts a day a month, or years. Unless you dig a promiscuous lifestyle... Either way, relationships are chosen by the person and strong will can overcome hormonal imblalance...

There's also a sayin I often recite because its cool and its not always about the person, but also the timing. Right girl wrong time, or wrong girl right time, and then you have that moment when you meet the right girl at the right time and the rest becomes history...



The older ya get,The harder it is...

One thing I've noticed is that if you're single in your mid twenties, its a whole lot harder to meet people than it was in college. Now captain obvious would say, its a numbers game, there are simply more people around you in college with a somewhat similar goal all in one place. You either 1.) want to party 2.) want to graduate or 3.) mix the two. The thing is, after college, you run into folks who want to either settle down or live it up. Tis one of the great mysteries of life...

So I got talkin again with my single girlfriends and was talkin to them about relationships and how hard it is to meet the 'type' of person we usually go for. For instance, when meeting a girl at a bar or club there are some preconceived notions you just can't get away from. 1.) She still knows how to drink 2.) She there to let loose and have fun 3.) She's there to hook up. Now if you're a girl and you see a bunch of guys, I'm sure girls have preconceived notions about us like 1.) Dudes out to have a good time 2.) He's only there to hook up or 3.) those guys are losers, quit starin at us... Surprisingly these are one of the few social environments where lots of people still get together. Then ya ask urself, do I really wanna hook up with a chick or dude I met at a bar/club? My answer, Sure why not? Hooking up doesn't really have to mean doin the dirty dirty, just makin a new friends is cool... It's too bad that intro's at the clubs are usually preloaded though... I don't think relationships formed outta bars tend to work out cause; when ya met you were party animals and it gets a little depressing to think that you've become all domesticated...

Where else would ya be able to meet folks? The gym? The mall? The library? going back to school even though you've already graduated? I know it's pretty ghetto to look for love in those places, but I'm sure people still do and that there are still plenty of other places... They just tend to be more niche areas. The most frequent answer I hear though, is friends of friends... No preloaded introductiosn, no preconceived notions, just friends kickin it and hangin out. That's when you can really get to know someone with similiar interests. I tend to think those who have things in common will last a while, but even that isn't certain... As they say, bird of a feather flock together... But still, there are folks that like the random hookups... I'm not one to say diversity is a bad thing...


R & D with arvind...

Homosexuality is a touchy subject; gay footballers even more so.

When you consider that footballers are invariably looked upon as role models for children (for better or worse), many otherwise liberal and politically-correct parents would throw a fit if they found out their precious offspring was idolizing a baller sporting a chin-strap, and I’m not talking about Mr Cech.

There’s a time and place for being sensitive and to deal with issues in seriousness - but most of the time, football is just football - entertainment for those playing and entertainment for those watching. And if the entertainment turns into sexual innuendo, as any contact sport invariably does, then we’re on the front line cheering on the participants while pointing and laughing at the same time.

Enough talking - here’s a look at some of the less serious moments in football. Football is not gay, and footballers are usually not gay, but if there was a gay football team, would feel comfortable watching such photos of them?


40 Things to do before 40...

Came across this type of post somewhere and liked the idea.
Dont think I would be able to put 40 but will keep adding to it as and when I think of something ( suggstions always invited :) ).

1) Travel around the world.
2) Own a lamborghini , a limo and a ferrari.
3) Develop a new theory which revolutionizes the world of finance.
4) Find that someone who can make my day with a smile.
5) Own an island with an awesome beach.
6) Be a millionaire by 30.
7) Be a billionaire by 40.
8) Start my own company with a private equity division, a hedge fund devision and an M&A boutique.
9) Feature in Forbes.
10) Try every cuisine in the world.

btw...I let my imagination run wild ..so in case u r wondering that its a bit too much...I agree with u :)
Of new year resolutions...

Its that time of the year when people start thinking about resolutions for the new year.
I have made resolutions in the past though not necessarily at the start of a new year. In most cases been lucky/disclined enough to keep them. One thing I always wanted to change about myself and resolved a lot about, couldn't be achieved. Change requires effort and I always somehow would give up.
However this time I'm gonna do it. Even at the cost of pain, effort or energy.
Not revealing here because I want people who know me to feel that change rather than being told about it. For those who dont know me, the updated version is probably gonna be better anyway, so why worry about the old one :)
We are just good friends...

If you've seen one of those chain mails describing what a "good friend" is to a girl..you would understand.
And since we've become quite accustomed to using Finance in understanding daily phenomenon, here's what my friend and I came up to explain this phenomenon:
"A good friend to a girl is one who pays the premium while she holds the call option!"
Screw you censorship...

the indian censor board is again up with gimmicks, this time fashion TV..now what the #$%^ (pardon my french)is wrong with them.


if someone makes an effort to stay awake till midnight to treat his hormones, why do these morons have to interfere."Worlds Sexiest Advertisements" was a fun program u treated it the same.

Now maharashtra Govt. claims CBSE sex education books are too graphic, I haven't read them but cannot see what harm can they do, show me one kid of 16 who does not have access to raunchy books.

there is a law that says
in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain


my dear censoship , you are just doing that to sex.

Chief "gest"

I often have visited blogs where I used to see people posting different kind of posters or images where a funny one-Liner or a thing would be written which used to be incredibly hilarious and I used to think from where would they have got it from....Was it some kind of a trick or was it really Clicked????
And finally, while waiting for a friend near maduravoyal. It Happened....I saw something...Yes I did...I just had to click this one..Took out my phone and even though the 20 odd eye-balls kept giving me odd glances as to what this guy is upto, I really didn't care. Clicked it!! And even though it didn’t come out as I wanted it to,the damn leaves of a nearby branch came in the way, it wasn't that bad




Chief gest.... I mean, I make spelling mistakes but to eat away an "U"...just like that in a hoarding ..I would have been embarrassed if I were the chief “"guest" :P

Amazed!!!

i am amazed at myself today...i managed to fall down again and sprain the right ankle for the umpteenth time.but that is not what amazed me...this time i didnt cry.the last time i fractured my toe,i remember having wept a river.
in a queer way,i am proud of myself today...love makes u feel secure,no doubt, but it also makes you weak.
and being far away from the ones you love,makes you this rock which picks itself up and limps its way through a crowded street without holding onto any hand...thank god,i think i am growing up.
atlast.
TATOO

I have been secretly regretting deeply about something recently. No, its not my tattoo, but you are close, its actually about the location of my tattoo. It should have a been a little more higher up on my left shoulder joint, I have it on the arm now. I know there is no point in regretting about that since there is nothing I can do to erase or move it up from there, unless I am ready to spend a seventy thousand bucks on it, which I am not ready to. But I am trying to look at the bright side of it. I can make it look better by tattooing a little more just above it more closer to the shoulder joint. Actually there will be two good things about that bright side.
1) I can get some more tattoo, which is something I like.
2) I will have an explanation why I got one more tattoo when I have to explain to friends who do not understand why people get tattoo.
I just called up that tattoo guy yesterday. I would go there in a month or two, (well its not an urgency or priority, so it may lag again) but I have decided that I am not going to get that tattoo with the money from my salary, I am going to find another way to find a couple of grands over my salary to do it. I will update it here when I get it done, probably with a picture.

OH...KIDS!!!

Some days I wake up from my sleep and I feel sad. For no particular reason I feel so pitiful that I turn on some sad music and begin lamenting. Probably it was a bad dream or too much happiness! The reason for my sadness beats me. On one such day holding my distress in my head I went to purchase something at a local store. And right behind a 4-year old boy blitzed past me into the shop and squealed out the orders he had memorized.


Boy: "Uncle, 1 Bread Packet, Half Kg Salt, 1 Colgate Toothpaste and 1 Chocolate" (last one with a big grin!)
Shopkeeper: "You want me to deliver it to your home?"
Boy: "Yes. I will have the chocolate now".
Shopkeeper: "Where is your home?"
Boy: "We have a parrot near the gate!!"
Shopkeeper: "How do I get there?"
Boy(Manoeuvring his hands deftly in the air) "Go like this, then like that, then like this, then run straight, then like that, then...".
Shopkeeper: "Hey, hey, hey... whats your number!"
Boy: "2615 Double 2 Double 5!"
Shopkeeper: "Not your phone number, Your house number or Door number!".
Boy: "I'll ask mom and come back" (and he darted away).


The Shopkeeper and I kept laughing. Oh boy! Kids are real fun. The sullen mood was no longer there. Parents usually fear sending their young kids out of home, but I advise them to do so often. They might possibly make some strangers day with their innocence!

DADA  announces his retirement...

 dada.jpg

Sourav Ganguly has called finally called time on an incredible career that stretched over 15 years. But before he finally hangs up his boots he will play 4 test matches against Australia (at least two anyway). I know there has been a lot of debate over the past two years on whether Ganguly deserved his place in the team. And with all things connected with Indian cricket, this debate has seen its fair share of passion and emotions. But right now let us just hope that Ganguly can end a great career by doing well against the Australians. He deserves a farewell similar to what the Australians gave Steve Waugh.

He is going to be all fired up and I just hope that manages to put together some runs so that he gets to play the final test in Nagpur on merit rather than on sentiment. This is the first step in the dismantling on what is most probably the most celebrated batting middle order in cricketing history. Ganguly the batsman may not have contributed as much to that middle order as the likes of Tendulkar or Dravid or maybe even Laxman; but what Ganguly the captain did was to create an environment where these men could thrive. Its also easy to forget that it was under Ganguly that men like Yuvraj, Harbhajan, Zaheer Khan, Irfan Pathan and most importantly MS Dhoni took their first steps in international cricket. As Sanjay Manjrekar rightly put it- he gave India belief, and his cricket team perfectly epitomized the coming of age of India both as a nation and as a cricketing superpower. Ganguly also gave Indian fans some of our best moments-  be it the incredible run to the 2003 World Cup final or the victories in Pakistan or best of all that incredible series in Australia in 2004. Amidst all this talk of his form, of his battle with Guru Greg Chappell, its easy to forget just how successful he made the Indian team- we hardly won away from India before him. 

In the end, it will be great if Ganguly goes out the same way he came in way back in 1996- with a bang.  

DO U THINK "UNCLE SAM" REALLY NEED`S A BAIL OUT??? WELL...I DON`T!!!

The whole world is on its happy feet since the federal govt. had announced a bail-out packaga for the banking jerks established in USA.The federal government is sending each of the citizens a $600 rebate. If they spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If they spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If they buy a computer /software it will go to India. If they purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If they purchase a good car it will go to Germany or Italy. If they purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy. The only way to keep that money in their home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in US.Hope every american ass is doing their part.So by now you would be asking me why am i so happy about UNCLE SAM going to grave ... ???
Well...Probably we humans have a tendency to ridicule the top dogs....
God Bless You...God Bless America :)

Matrimonial...Matrimonial !!!

After getting so many threatening calls from my mother that I should help her in searching for a bride her elder sister`s son, I finally registered a profile in a matrimonial site to help him out. This is Ultimate...... I bet u can't stop laughing. These are profiles taken from $#@@*!.com (Can't write the site name here). These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart. My comments are in italic...
Disclaimer: I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this post..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male,If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalore .. if u like me u welcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter..

Thanks
yours Regards Sowmya ~*~

(Truly yours)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework

(What Homework???)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love.I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on........hold my hand forever !!!

(The "just like heaven" effect)

i am simple girl. I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck. now i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot

(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)

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i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast

(by not wearing his jeans? What the hell...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY THEY ARE
1. THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.
2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION
3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.


(all of us are loughing (laughing})
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would be called the man of the lamp

(Fcuk... !! I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)
Infact she doesn't know wat she wants ?.. ? ...? A LAMP ? ? ?
)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok

(I am again clueless but I liked the use of 'ok'. The person is Suffering from 'Ok-syndrome')
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & Mother. sister completely married

(somebody please explain how to get married completely'?)
( Confused ????? )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

(Height of desperation!)

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iam kanandevi. i do own businas.one sistar.he was marred.

(No comments)
(Plz for gods sake ask somebody's help in framing sentence )

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hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily.i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good'. i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted ....

(but credit cards not accepted..???)
(Perhaps Debit Cards accepted ?.. Clean Habit's??????? Is there
anything like that.)

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I am Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social service.

(Zebra..???)
(Gosh!!!!!!!! she knows her heart color

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Hi, I am Sitalakshmi MBA , he should be superstar , loving, caring and daring.He should have big mustache, A person from south Indian orthodox family will be romba romba shwagatham..

Duhh…Veerappan is no more ! and MBA is your initials or degree??

I finally close the window and log on to orkut. I`m wonderin about the fate of my cousin-bro...

Were ignorance is bliss...

To what extend would you go to win a women's heart. Combing from what was given in yesterday's newspaper report, it seems the best tactic is to act pretty dumb.Pretty surprising, but the report says it work far greater trying to be a macho man. Well then, all the dudes out there flashing on their IQ's and EQ's should now think plain dump.
“But we’ve found that self-deprecating humor is the most attractive of all. It is a risky form of humour because it can draw attention to one’s real faults thereby diminishing the self-deprecator’s status in the eyes of others. "
So, now I got to play a new set of cards on my sleeve in my battle to win the hearts of my raging fellow dudette`s.....

WHACKO-JACKO!!!

Read this... "A pair of white briefs once belonging to pop superstar Michael Jackson are to be sold at auction.


The Calvin Klein underpants will be sold on internet site eBay with a reserve price of $1 million (£540,540).

The briefs are reportedly part of the evidence confiscated by police in 2003 as a part of jackson's child molestation trial, in which he was eventually cleared
"



I mean, what the heck??I still wonder who'd want to buy them?....Buying something like a celebrity's underpants and then showing it off with pride to friends is the last thing a sane human would want to do!!
Seriously, the guy, must have done a hell lot of things with those underpants on and they must be stinking like shit!!

These celebrities would go to any extent to be in the news.First of all you molest a child, then, when you are somehow cleared of those charges for molestation, you go ahead and put those same briefs you used during 'the act' for sale!!???Who does that??

Its strange how , once you become a celebrity, specially in the west, you dont have to worry about your finances for the rest of your life.Just stay in the news, even if its for the wrong reason and your life is set.
Or else just go sell your underpants for a billion dollars....and you'd find some idiot who'd be ready to buy them!


And guess what??...They're being sold for $1million!!!I mean dude, so much for those stinky, yucky underpants???!! Oh i forgot something.....stinky,yucky and DESIGNER, Calvin Klein underpants!!!???
Well, for the one who buys it...'get a life loser!!GET A LIFE!'

Next thing you know, MJ might sell, used condoms(perhaps, priced 2 billion.C'mon they are MJ's after all!) and god knows what else!!.....lolz:P

seriously he's one whacky jackass!

BIG CIRCLE AROUND THE MOON


Two weeks before in Chennai, we were able to see a big circle around the moon, and it become the talk of the city. I managed to take a snap of the sky with the moon and the circle. But the circle is cut at the top and the bottom. And when I saw the snap in my camera, the circle was visible. But when I put that in my laptop, I am not able to see anything. So I used photoshop to change the color, brightness properties to show the circle very slightly. The next morning, newspaper THE HINDU had the snapshot which is really good (of course they have a better camera than me, lolz).

The ring is caused by conditions that are similar to appearance of rainbow. The rainbow is formed when light from sun passes through water droplets in the atmosphere and are split into colors like when a light passes through a prism. These rays are reflected from the other side of the droplet and what we see is the rainbow. Similarly here the circle is formed by refraction of moon light (light from sun reflected by moon) from ice crystals in the atmosphere.
ITS ALWAYS 2 THINGS

The last couple of weeks have been somewhat eventful..
Watched Dark Knight a couple of days in DVD ... I'm probably the millionth person you've heard saying this, but its brilliant. By far the best super hero movie I've seen, and I suspect it will retain that position for a while (until the sequel comes out).
Its been quite a while since I've watched a really good movie in a theater, and this sequel did the complete opposite of what most do.
Firstly I love the touch of realism Christopher Nolan has brought to the world of Batman, pretty interesting, especially since Batman's primary appeal is the darker side, as well as a comparatively realistic side (he's just filthy rich.. not from another planet or mutated because of a spider).
For the side-characters, the casting of Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman is just brilliant, I especially like the emphasis on Morgan Freeman's character... pulls Batman down just a little bit closer to being normal.
Don't expect the physics of everything to work out.. it is a superhero movie.
As for the three main characters... I felt even initially that the casting of Christopher Nolan was a stroke of genius. Aaron Eckhart seems to fit his part quite perfectly.
Coming to the much talked about part of the Joker... I must say, for once in life all the hype has been worth it. Despite all the build up I was still truly amazed by Heath Ledger's performance. Chilling and amazing, he brings that dark aspects of some versions of the comics right out there... The comics portray the joker as a nutty moron who laughs like an idiot. Here he's almost schizophrenic, intelligent and truly crazy.. his smiles are far more scary than they are funny.
Its a pity that his best performance turned out to be his last.
Heath Ledger for Oscar!



The storyline itself gets a little convoluted around the beginning of the second half, but even though its a long movie I must say I enjoyed every bit of it, and am really looking forward to the sequel to this.
Hopefully it wont disappoint.

On a completely different note, I learnt a valuable lesson too. Don't go somewhere with people who don't plan much if you intend to stick by a plan yourself.
I was convinced (with some considerable effort) to go somewhere, on a almost spur of the moment decision with a few friends, for a couple of days. I needed to be back, apparently they didnt really care. While there the assurances to get back got overturned as easily as the plan was made, and it resulted in me riding home in a random bus alone and quite angry, hoping to reach in time to make sure my day wasn't completely screwed up.
It isn't all that profound, I always felt many around me were "flakes", but its nice to put a profound spin to a little rant... haha...lolz



A Kiss Always Means Something...



Her : I'm sorry. Forget what happened. That will be best for us.
Me : Do you think that just a sorry will make everything go away?
Her : Well, all I can do is apologise for that night. Just forget what happened.
Me : What about the kiss?
Her : It didn't mean anything.
Me : A Kiss Always Means Something...

What did it mean?

World Cinema @ My Vision

I am a movie buff who always stick to movies that creates a deep impact on us. Well...to start with,I`m a GR8 GR8 fan of AL PACINO.The voice he has...folks,,, he rocks!!!I listen to blogs and websites that tells about the best part of world cinema.I have a keen interest in watching and getting to know about the movies that are considered greatest of all time and those that leaves a hard feeling in our heart. I don’t value films great by the way they do magic at the box office, but by the impact it creates on one and their ability to reach people ahead of age, language and culture.

This part of my blog is mainly to feed my inquisitiveness on the movies that are considered as global trend setters. At the international arena, today’s film market is dominated by hollywood where much importance is given to the technical aspects and special effects. My way of looking at movies is different. My thirst is on movies that are highly influential, that touches human emotions. What satisfies my thirst when i look in for a movie is the everlasting effect it creates in me.

Arguably movies made in Korea, Latin America, Iran, Italy stands out distinctly with global standards. What makes these movies to have such a distinct flavour? When noted incisively, such films indulge deep into heart and knocks up one’s feeling...

PLANET NIBURU & OUR VGN GROUND

It was a saturday evenin.I was in the ground to play with our so-called cricket team. "TIGER BALA" ( 1 of my teams creep ) who was sittin next to me while we were waitin 4 our turn to bat.It was the day where the whole world was talkin about that "BIG BANG 2".If someone in the CERN institute speaks about that...Y cant our own "TIGER BALA".This is how the conversation went on:


Bala:Machi...naalaiku ulagam aliyapogudunu solrangalay...ne enna nanaikra?
Me : um...Itha tha da avanuga 2000 la irunthu solranga...onnum nadakra maathri teriyala
Bala:Aama da vaelavetti illatha pasanga...BIG BANG theary romba mukkiyam ippo
Me : Oh...appo neeyum nambala pola
Bala: Illa da...world wil be comin 2 an end only on 2012 may 15th!
Me : Enna da comedy panra...vitta time kuda solluva pola
Bala:No da im serious
Me:How u are sayin it?
Bala:I heard of a planet called Niburu.Its gettin nearby our solar system day-by-day.By 2012 may 15,It wil come near our worls and cause major disaster.I saw the video in youtube.you also go and chk it out
Me:Neeyum kalambitiya da...ulagam azhiyum bodu azhiyatum...athukula ungaluku enna apdi avasaram
Bala:Seri ne poyu youtube la check pani paaru
Me:oh k paathutu paesra..(conversation ended)
The whole evenin i was thinkin about the same old niburu.I was used to hear these kinda stuffs but this was said 2 hav a proof.So i finished the game as soon & started to move home by lookin Bala with a mavaney-ithu-matum-ethavadu-mokkaya-irunthuchu-ne-gaali look.
Reached home and started to look for videos about that shithead NIBURU.There was a whole lot of videos startin from documents to advertisements on NIBURU.For a second,i taut Bala could be correct.Then i started viewin those videos.NOT BAD...they were all of the same genre...Horror...I watched about 10-15 videos about niburu and in all the cases they were just containing the videos of tsunami which rocked INDIA and some aftermath earthquake videos.I kept researchin the whole night without even havin my supper.ATLAST...I CAME TO A CONCLUSION...ALL THOSE WERE A SET OF F**KIN BULLSHITS...None of the video had proof that the planet would be comin near to our earth.
It was at that time i got came to know why nobody listens to TIGER BALA`S words in our team.After that,i was searchin for that genius to rip him off...Till now i hav`nt met hi.But the search is still on...

Saying one thing when you mean another

It’s the oldest story in the book in romance. I would say it starts around Kindergarten to third grade. Yes that period of time it is worst and we start to learn our potential in how to really mess with a persons perspective of love. Mind you at this point its puppy love so it’s a little easier not to die a melancholy death engulfed in a sea of love. But kids are just as brutal is not meaner.
The boy behind you pulls on your hair one day for some reason. It makes you mad and you call him a poo head or for those of us more advanced at around third grade a ‘dirty’ word. Two days later he sticks gum in your hair and calls you a name at recess. At this point your feelings are hurt but you don’t want people to know so you go home and have mom cut it out while you get angry. The taunting continues and you get frustrated one day and come home and explain to mom how Billy at school threw the ball at you today and how mean he’s been and she says quite simply, “That’s because he likes you.”, and you get your first taste of what the fuck, and how confusing is that in the dichotomy that is like/love.
As we have evolved into adults, mind you not grown-ups, I see it happen more and more on such weird and intricate levels I wonder how people cannot have grown past the taunting you bold face lying stage of this.
I am currently in one of those situations right now where every time I see a certain guy he plays the taunting game of I like you but I don’t. I want you more than I can ever tell you, but I am totally casual, we are just friends and I really am NOT staring at you from across the room. Worse over the guy just recently gave me a CD. Yeah it’s the oldest story in the book. I said “Hey do you have such and such artist I am having a hell of a time finding them and need some of their music”. Three weeks later I ask about said CD and he is still making it. In other words it’s one of those hidden meanings CD’s. Great, and I get it and it is. Wow very bold for him to put what he put on there because he is seeing someone else.
Saga continuing I see him stare at me every weekend but seriously folks, we are JUST friends. Just friends I don’t think so. It’s obvious we are into each other but we dance around playing third grader games an saying we’re good friends, but totally losing ourselves in each other.
Other examples of this age old conundrum besides my current boy issue is quite simply the ‘It’s no it’s you, it’s me”, phrase or other such niceties. I’m not angry with you I’m angry with me. It’s not what you did it’s the situation I am mad it. Rankly I think it’s time we get past this, but I know that as we grow older for some reason it just gets worse.
Playing this game with lovers, possible lovers, boy/girlfriends, wives & husbands is just messy. I think we all owe it to ourselves to be a little more honest.
Next time you are about to play the hair pulling game of saying one thing when you mean another please stop yourself. Think for a minute and just and for my sake at least, just tell whoever you are with the truth. It’s a lot less hurtful in the long run and you might actually get somewhere positive with it. If nothing else somewhere in India r abroad... I will be smiling for you, and that’s a damn good start.

Back in the Mix...

So recently I've been gettin into the whole groove of things, the dating scene, meetin new folks and that whole shabang. The whole courting phase is pretty fun and at the same time hectic. With round the clock work and a plethora of activities to do I'm finding it very hard to manage everything without some part of my life getting all out of whack.

The whole idea of dating is pretty cool... Getting to know someone (and their friends) better, exploring different places, and generally exposing oneself to different experiences. I find in my normal group of friends I tend to do the same things with them, but when goin out with new folks its a whole new world and a fun one at that. Some party hard, others work hard, and yet others do both hard (I'm still trying to figure out how those folks manage), but the sure thing is differnt people/groups do different things. It's exciting and very rejuvanting.

Then of course in the 'dating' scene its so hard to stay friends after you've deemed each other incompatible and then everything changes. Of course, most of the time ya stay friends but the communication dies down and then there are those few who cut you off and those who you have to cut off to make a point. There's nothin worse than a clingy desparate date! Exploring the sea continues... One always has to be optimistic that Mrs/Mr right is out there for everyone. It's just that magical moment where he/she deems you worthy for their kingdom. Then there are the relationships that pave the way to the final product. Players talk their way in but quickly leave, Infatuation is fun until you realize ur from different worlds, while Lovers can build an empire together.

Thank You Media

One day Bangladesh (which is no minnow having already defeated India once and more importantly Australia and PakistanIndia thrashes a lowly Bermuda and the news channels can't stop praising the event for the next 24 hours. Added to this the media and other personalities go gaga over Sehwag for thrashing a side which was easily the poorest in the World Cup. Maybe we should include him in the Indian cricket Hall Of Fame.

So where does it all lead. An upset is made into a disaster and a stroll in the park is presented as a magnificent triumph.The same story was wit the TWENTY20 world cup. Hail the media for adding spice to our life. I just can't imagine how boring our lives would have been without you folks. I tell you, the next time we have a religious riot, you guys will be the biggest instigators.. Thanks for that in advance.convincingly) defeats an insipid Indian team and the whole nation (or so it seems if you trust the news channels) is fuming. The sons of the soil are so pained that they wreak havoc on Dhoni's house. (One just wishes they do this to their local MLA's or councillors house post elections).

Attaboy Kamal

"Amazin...just amazin"....these was the first words that left my mouth when I finished reading Kamal's shortstory in Vikatan. "aNaya neruppu" is as good as it can get. I have always been a bit sceptical about Kamal's Tamil. He never seems to keep it simple. But his earlier column in Vikatan "Love Pannuda Mavune" seemed to prove me wrong. This one definitely mad me eat my doubts.

I actually felt very bad that I had not thought of this link between the mythologies. I fancy myself as an expert in the Indian Mythology. But this time I had to bow to the Big K. What is really interesting is Kamal's interest in Indian Mythology and religion, inspite of his claims to be an atheist( I personally think he is currently an agnostic and not an atheist.). Illayaraja claims that Kamal can quote easily from Divya Prabandham( a sacred work of the Vaishnavites). And what is really surprising is some of the best spiritual and religious songs in Tamil cinema have come in Kamal's movies.
Maasura Ponne Varuga( Thevar Magan), Sriranga ranagnathanin Patham( Mahanadi), Paartha Vizhi Paartha Padi(Guna), Anda Kandamani Osai Ketturuchu(Virumandi), Isiayil Thodanguthamma (Hey Ram) and the all time favourite Yaar Yaar Sivam (Anbe Sivam).
My only wish is Kamal be as original in movies as he is in his short stories.

Attaboy Kamal!!!!

Kattabomman & Single Vadai

What happens if after seeing Veerapandiya kaatabomman for the 50th time you go to Ratna Cafe and order one ordinary sized vadai....(and return 10.50 INR poorer)? You get to speak such dialogues......

"Malivana hotel endra ondru than illai ichennai maanagarile....Sarvana Bhavan ondru thaan arjaka costly endru ninaithen. Athu malivana hotel endru nirupithvittathu, emathu arumai hotel...velacherry 100 feet salayil ulla triplicane ratna cafe."