It’s the oldest story in the book in romance. I would say it starts around Kindergarten to third grade. Yes that period of time it is worst and we start to learn our potential in how to really mess with a persons perspective of love. Mind you at this point its puppy love so it’s a little easier not to die a melancholy death engulfed in a sea of love. But kids are just as brutal is not meaner.
The boy behind you pulls on your hair one day for some reason. It makes you mad and you call him a poo head or for those of us more advanced at around third grade a ‘dirty’ word. Two days later he sticks gum in your hair and calls you a name at recess. At this point your feelings are hurt but you don’t want people to know so you go home and have mom cut it out while you get angry. The taunting continues and you get frustrated one day and come home and explain to mom how Billy at school threw the ball at you today and how mean he’s been and she says quite simply, “That’s because he likes you.”, and you get your first taste of what the fuck, and how confusing is that in the dichotomy that is like/love.
As we have evolved into adults, mind you not grown-ups, I see it happen more and more on such weird and intricate levels I wonder how people cannot have grown past the taunting you bold face lying stage of this.
I am currently in one of those situations right now where every time I see a certain guy he plays the taunting game of I like you but I don’t. I want you more than I can ever tell you, but I am totally casual, we are just friends and I really am NOT staring at you from across the room. Worse over the guy just recently gave me a CD. Yeah it’s the oldest story in the book. I said “Hey do you have such and such artist I am having a hell of a time finding them and need some of their music”. Three weeks later I ask about said CD and he is still making it. In other words it’s one of those hidden meanings CD’s. Great, and I get it and it is. Wow very bold for him to put what he put on there because he is seeing someone else.
Saga continuing I see him stare at me every weekend but seriously folks, we are JUST friends. Just friends I don’t think so. It’s obvious we are into each other but we dance around playing third grader games an saying we’re good friends, but totally losing ourselves in each other.
Other examples of this age old conundrum besides my current boy issue is quite simply the ‘It’s no it’s you, it’s me”, phrase or other such niceties. I’m not angry with you I’m angry with me. It’s not what you did it’s the situation I am mad it. Rankly I think it’s time we get past this, but I know that as we grow older for some reason it just gets worse.
Playing this game with lovers, possible lovers, boy/girlfriends, wives & husbands is just messy. I think we all owe it to ourselves to be a little more honest.
Next time you are about to play the hair pulling game of saying one thing when you mean another please stop yourself. Think for a minute and just and for my sake at least, just tell whoever you are with the truth. It’s a lot less hurtful in the long run and you might actually get somewhere positive with it. If nothing else somewhere in India r abroad... I will be smiling for you, and that’s a damn good start.
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